As noted in yesterday's entry, I was listening to the old folk song "Abraham, Martin, and John" as I was writing about the all-too-soon passing of my friend, the Reverend John Fischer. I have since learned some more details of his death, and the words of this song are simply haunting me today ~~~ "Seems the good they die young...".
John got up yesterday morning and rode the MAX to work in Hillsboro, just like any other normal day. At 8:00 a.m., a co-worker heard him fall and went in only to find him on the floor. CPR was started and the EMTs arrived, but it was too late. He had suffered a massive heart attack, and was already gone ~~~ "I just looked around and he's gone....".
But it has to be the bridge of that song that speaks to me the most today ~~~ "Didn't you love the things they stood for? Didn't they try to find some good for you and me? Yes, we'll be free ~~ someday soon. Its gonna happen one day...."
Abraham, Martin, and John...and Bobby, and, now, our John. Peace, social justice, fairness, equality, freedom...yeh, I love the things they stood for. And I pray that one day, soon, it will happen.
~~bg
November 29, 2006
November 28, 2006
the loss of a friend
I posted the following blog on my MySpace page today...it bears repeating here:
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Rest in PEACE my friend and mentor
Current mood: indescribably sad
Many of you who are here in my MySpace world with me are beloved young people (and some not so young!) that I am blessed to know because of my work and ministry here at Camp Arrah Wanna. Like me, I know that for a lot of you, this place holds dear and precious memories of significant times in your life, no matter how many years you have been living that life up to this point. And, like me, for many of you there are people that are absolutely engulfed in your memories of this place ~ people that are synomous with Arrah Wanna ~ people who, when you mention their name, you think of here, and when you mention camp's name, you think of them. John and Terry Sue Fischer are two of those people in my world ~~ but today, only one of them remains.
I just received word that John has passed away after suffering a heart attack. I know no other details, but I know all I need to know. Our world, and our body of Christ here on earth, has lost a champion. The poor and the under-privileged have lost a friend. The broken, hurting and down-trodden of society have lost an advocate, and perhaps most importantly, the "cause" for peace in our world has lost a vocal leader and supporter. I have lost a friend.
John was my first staff leader here at Arrah Wanna when I was 17 years old. He and Terry Sue led our staff the summer of 1978, and worked hard to teach us leadership and ministry skills that I still draw upon today. In more recent years, John has become my friend - a prayer advocate for the ministry of Arrah Wanna, and for me personally. We've enjoyed sharing stories of politics and religion, both of which we shared similar views and kindred spirits. We've particpated together in email campaigns to enlighten and educate. My mentor has become my friend and that is such an honor for me.
The news of his all-too-soon death has hit me hard this afternoon, yet I know it has hit others even harder. Please keep Terry Sue, their sons Joel, Mike and David in your prayers, as well as the rest of John's family and friends. Please find something you believe in and, in John's memory today, step up to the plate to support that cause with your time, your money, your voice, and your prayers. If you can't think of a cause, drop me a line and,in true John Fischer fashion, I'll give you my not-so-humble opinion! I can think of no better way to honor the life of this man than to re-commit myself to making the world a better place for those less fortunate than I.
I am pretty certain the "left wing" of heaven is rocking today...I will look forward to joining in on those discussions if I am fortunate enough to make it there myself.
Rest in peace my friend and mentor, John Fischer. Heaven's gain is our loss - you will be mourned and missed.
~barbara galbraith (november 28, 2006)
Currently listening :
Abraham Martin & John
By Dion
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Rest in PEACE my friend and mentor
Current mood: indescribably sad
Many of you who are here in my MySpace world with me are beloved young people (and some not so young!) that I am blessed to know because of my work and ministry here at Camp Arrah Wanna. Like me, I know that for a lot of you, this place holds dear and precious memories of significant times in your life, no matter how many years you have been living that life up to this point. And, like me, for many of you there are people that are absolutely engulfed in your memories of this place ~ people that are synomous with Arrah Wanna ~ people who, when you mention their name, you think of here, and when you mention camp's name, you think of them. John and Terry Sue Fischer are two of those people in my world ~~ but today, only one of them remains.
I just received word that John has passed away after suffering a heart attack. I know no other details, but I know all I need to know. Our world, and our body of Christ here on earth, has lost a champion. The poor and the under-privileged have lost a friend. The broken, hurting and down-trodden of society have lost an advocate, and perhaps most importantly, the "cause" for peace in our world has lost a vocal leader and supporter. I have lost a friend.
John was my first staff leader here at Arrah Wanna when I was 17 years old. He and Terry Sue led our staff the summer of 1978, and worked hard to teach us leadership and ministry skills that I still draw upon today. In more recent years, John has become my friend - a prayer advocate for the ministry of Arrah Wanna, and for me personally. We've enjoyed sharing stories of politics and religion, both of which we shared similar views and kindred spirits. We've particpated together in email campaigns to enlighten and educate. My mentor has become my friend and that is such an honor for me.
The news of his all-too-soon death has hit me hard this afternoon, yet I know it has hit others even harder. Please keep Terry Sue, their sons Joel, Mike and David in your prayers, as well as the rest of John's family and friends. Please find something you believe in and, in John's memory today, step up to the plate to support that cause with your time, your money, your voice, and your prayers. If you can't think of a cause, drop me a line and,in true John Fischer fashion, I'll give you my not-so-humble opinion! I can think of no better way to honor the life of this man than to re-commit myself to making the world a better place for those less fortunate than I.
I am pretty certain the "left wing" of heaven is rocking today...I will look forward to joining in on those discussions if I am fortunate enough to make it there myself.
Rest in peace my friend and mentor, John Fischer. Heaven's gain is our loss - you will be mourned and missed.
~barbara galbraith (november 28, 2006)
Currently listening :
Abraham Martin & John
By Dion
November 22, 2006
A Thanksgiving thought....
My most favorite words ever about being thankful from one of my most-favorite writers, Henri Nouwen:
"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives - the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections - that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only truly grateful people when we can say thank-you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let us not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God."
"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives - the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections - that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only truly grateful people when we can say thank-you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let us not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God."
September 26, 2006
What a difference a year makes...
...twenty four little hours. Oh wait, singing it won't work. Its still the title of the blog though. Truly, what a difference a year makes.
Today in 2005, I was pulling into the Mt. Hood Community College parking lot for the first day of classes. I froze. Completely and totally froze. Called my husband from the car, crying, telling him I couldn't get out, couldn't go to class, couldn't do any of this. I was a basket case. I had not been in a classroom since March of 1981 and it wasn't looking too good for me to darken the door to one in September of 2005 either!
Long story short, my husband talked me out of the car, and into my math class....and now, one year, and five A's and two B's later, I can't imagine NOT being in school. So today? Well, it was no problem getting out of the car and strolling into my math class...and as I type that here, I truly can't believe I am saying it.
Going back to school for my degree has been a goal of mine since Noelle was 2. She's 21 now. Its always been out there as something I not only should, but want, to do. Like with most things, the first step was the hardest. Now it is almost a piece of cake.
The schedule gets a little crazy. And community college or no, it is spendy. Almost $300 today alone just for books! Finding time to do the homework is a battle unto itself, but I am hopeful that will settle in in a few weeks. But even with all that, I still love being there - I love the atmosphere, the people, the teachers, and energy in the air, and I love, and I mean LOVE, the learning. It is just the coolest, coolest thing to be 45 years old and still learning so very, very much.
Shauna is my inspiration for my schooling. She would have been 45 on Saturday (the 23rd) and I still cry everyday for her. I just miss her so much. Today, on the way back from school, I was listening to one of the cd's she made me. It was from 2004, and is the only "post-cancer" collection of music she put together for me. (The others were made before the cancer diagnosis.) It is obvious that something was different - she was different. You can't go through what she went through and not be changed. But it was a good different - a deeper, more thought-ful, softer, more introspective and authentic different. I cried all the way home, missing her, knowing she was there with me, knowing how proud she is of my slow and steady plugging away at my degree, and, again, missing her so much.
Yeh, a year makes a lot of difference for some things. Others, well, not so much.
Today in 2005, I was pulling into the Mt. Hood Community College parking lot for the first day of classes. I froze. Completely and totally froze. Called my husband from the car, crying, telling him I couldn't get out, couldn't go to class, couldn't do any of this. I was a basket case. I had not been in a classroom since March of 1981 and it wasn't looking too good for me to darken the door to one in September of 2005 either!
Long story short, my husband talked me out of the car, and into my math class....and now, one year, and five A's and two B's later, I can't imagine NOT being in school. So today? Well, it was no problem getting out of the car and strolling into my math class...and as I type that here, I truly can't believe I am saying it.
Going back to school for my degree has been a goal of mine since Noelle was 2. She's 21 now. Its always been out there as something I not only should, but want, to do. Like with most things, the first step was the hardest. Now it is almost a piece of cake.
The schedule gets a little crazy. And community college or no, it is spendy. Almost $300 today alone just for books! Finding time to do the homework is a battle unto itself, but I am hopeful that will settle in in a few weeks. But even with all that, I still love being there - I love the atmosphere, the people, the teachers, and energy in the air, and I love, and I mean LOVE, the learning. It is just the coolest, coolest thing to be 45 years old and still learning so very, very much.
Shauna is my inspiration for my schooling. She would have been 45 on Saturday (the 23rd) and I still cry everyday for her. I just miss her so much. Today, on the way back from school, I was listening to one of the cd's she made me. It was from 2004, and is the only "post-cancer" collection of music she put together for me. (The others were made before the cancer diagnosis.) It is obvious that something was different - she was different. You can't go through what she went through and not be changed. But it was a good different - a deeper, more thought-ful, softer, more introspective and authentic different. I cried all the way home, missing her, knowing she was there with me, knowing how proud she is of my slow and steady plugging away at my degree, and, again, missing her so much.
Yeh, a year makes a lot of difference for some things. Others, well, not so much.
September 19, 2006
My last word, I promise.
My husband, who is the funniest person on the planet, had this to say about the officiating crew from Saturday's game: "Yeh, they're hated in Oklahoma, but Nebraska is erecting a statue of them."
September 18, 2006
We'll take it.
In light of my previous post today, and this article from the Oregonian's online edition (http://www.oregonlive.com/sportsflash/college/index.ssf?/base/sports-11/1158615577227210.xml&storylist=college&thispage=1), I felt compelled to send the letter below to the Oregonian, as well as posting it here. I am not convinced I won't send it to the Pac 10 commisioner, the Big 12 commisioner and the University of Oklahoma's moronic president as well. I love amateur athletics, but quite frankly, I hate the culture the adults involved have created around it.
I vividly (Craig Moser was our kicker) remember the Crater (my high school) - Medford (the big, bad, hated, evil Black Tornado, as Medford only had one high school until 1985, not to say that I don't still despise the Black Tornado, but that's a different blog!!) football game my freshman year of high school, 1975. I was sick and unable to attend, but, of course, was listening on the radio. Medford was the terminal Goliath back in those days, and Crater (along with several others in the Southern Oregon Conference) were the Davids. Yet, we had a chance to win, AT THEIR FIELD, on a field goal right at the end of the game. We made it, but there was a flag on the play. The official said we had too many guys on the line. It was a bad call, as everyone would find out the next day when game film had been reviewed, and we lost the game. The next day in the paper, Medford's coach was quoted as saying, "Crater should have had the win, but we'll take it." We didn't have too many players on the line - we had done just what we were supposed to do - and our kick was good and we had indeed won the game. And it indeed is still in the record books today as a Medford win. That is just how it goes.
As I remember it, our players were heartbroken and angry, and rightly so. But when all the dust had cleared, all the tears had dried, and all the anger had dissipated, our team realized that there had been other blown calls, other missed opportunities, and other factors both within, and out of, their control, that were a part of playing that game. It became almost enough for each of them, and their fans, in our minds to know that, in reality, we had won that game. In reality, our field goal was good and the time had expired and Medford's coach was right, we should have had the win. But Medford got to take it. That was just the way it went, and here's a newsflash Sooners - that was just the way it went for you guys this past weekend. If the game really came down to just those two blown calls (and, again, this is probably for another blog another time, but if you're going to question two controversial calls, then shouldn't you really be questioning ALL the controversial calls, because if one of those goes the other way earlier in the game, then maybe the game isn't even on the line, or within being on the line, at the end? As my sixth man, Josh, says, "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, then it would be Christmas everyday."), then yeh, you should have had the win. But guess what? We'll take it.
(My letter:
There were hundreds, if not thousands, of football games played all over the country, at every level, this past weekend. Subsequently, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of blown calls by officials. That's just part of the game and every fan knows it. We hate it, but we know it coming in. There were blown calls in the Duck / Sooner game before the two "crucial" ones at the end of the game, and they were blown on both sides of the ball. Isn't every call, blown or not, crucial? Can't the argument be made that every call, blown or not, affects the outcome of the game in some manner?
I am not sure how I feel about the suspension of the officials - I guess I am glad that wasn't my decision to make - but I certainly know how I feel about the University of Oklahoma president asking the Big 12 commisioner to pursue having the game eliminated from the record books and the officials suspended for the rest of the season. It is the same way I feel about amateur athletics (which, by the way, I absolutely love) in general: Wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of all the whining adults and just let the players play the game, and relish the opportunity they have to be playing, at whatever level that may be?)
I vividly (Craig Moser was our kicker) remember the Crater (my high school) - Medford (the big, bad, hated, evil Black Tornado, as Medford only had one high school until 1985, not to say that I don't still despise the Black Tornado, but that's a different blog!!) football game my freshman year of high school, 1975. I was sick and unable to attend, but, of course, was listening on the radio. Medford was the terminal Goliath back in those days, and Crater (along with several others in the Southern Oregon Conference) were the Davids. Yet, we had a chance to win, AT THEIR FIELD, on a field goal right at the end of the game. We made it, but there was a flag on the play. The official said we had too many guys on the line. It was a bad call, as everyone would find out the next day when game film had been reviewed, and we lost the game. The next day in the paper, Medford's coach was quoted as saying, "Crater should have had the win, but we'll take it." We didn't have too many players on the line - we had done just what we were supposed to do - and our kick was good and we had indeed won the game. And it indeed is still in the record books today as a Medford win. That is just how it goes.
As I remember it, our players were heartbroken and angry, and rightly so. But when all the dust had cleared, all the tears had dried, and all the anger had dissipated, our team realized that there had been other blown calls, other missed opportunities, and other factors both within, and out of, their control, that were a part of playing that game. It became almost enough for each of them, and their fans, in our minds to know that, in reality, we had won that game. In reality, our field goal was good and the time had expired and Medford's coach was right, we should have had the win. But Medford got to take it. That was just the way it went, and here's a newsflash Sooners - that was just the way it went for you guys this past weekend. If the game really came down to just those two blown calls (and, again, this is probably for another blog another time, but if you're going to question two controversial calls, then shouldn't you really be questioning ALL the controversial calls, because if one of those goes the other way earlier in the game, then maybe the game isn't even on the line, or within being on the line, at the end? As my sixth man, Josh, says, "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, then it would be Christmas everyday."), then yeh, you should have had the win. But guess what? We'll take it.
(My letter:
There were hundreds, if not thousands, of football games played all over the country, at every level, this past weekend. Subsequently, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of blown calls by officials. That's just part of the game and every fan knows it. We hate it, but we know it coming in. There were blown calls in the Duck / Sooner game before the two "crucial" ones at the end of the game, and they were blown on both sides of the ball. Isn't every call, blown or not, crucial? Can't the argument be made that every call, blown or not, affects the outcome of the game in some manner?
I am not sure how I feel about the suspension of the officials - I guess I am glad that wasn't my decision to make - but I certainly know how I feel about the University of Oklahoma president asking the Big 12 commisioner to pursue having the game eliminated from the record books and the officials suspended for the rest of the season. It is the same way I feel about amateur athletics (which, by the way, I absolutely love) in general: Wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of all the whining adults and just let the players play the game, and relish the opportunity they have to be playing, at whatever level that may be?)
See it? We were THERE!!!
The most spoken phrase in the state of Oregon on Sunday? "Did you see the Duck game yesterday?" To that, we answer, "See it? We were THERE!!" Yep yep - we were there, along with a record 59,260-some other fans (not bad for a stadium with a capacity of 54,00) (and I should make it clear that my OSU hubby is not so much a Duck fan, but a fan of great college football, played in great college stadiums, on warm fall afternoons, no matter who the teams are on the field...) to witness what will most-assuredly go down in the books (if it hasn't already) as one of the most amazing, and most controversial, comebacks in college football history.
I'm a huge Duck fan, so there is just no way for me to address the tipped ball and the onside kick calls there at the end of the game without sounding biased, so I won't even attempt. What I do know is that the officials took a LOT of time to review those calls, which was something they didn't even attempt to do with what I consider to be the two most controversial calls that went in the Sooners' favor - the play where time on the play clock had expired (I was watching the play clock and saw it tick off to zero, then turned my head back to the players, had time to yell, "PlAY CLOCK" and watch them STILL get the ball snapped. Blown call.), and the pass interference no call made (or rather, not made) down by my end zone (ball thrown by Sooner QB. Sooner receiver and Duck defender are neck and neck. Sooner receiver pushes off Duck defender. Duck goes to the ground. Sooner makes catch. Autzen techno crew replays on the big screen. Duck fans go wild. Referee is voted off the island 56,000 to 3,000). So all that to say, there were controversial calls, and no calls, all during the game, on both sides of the ball. If one of those goes the other way, its a whole different ball game and there you go. If you weren't there (my obligatory "rubbing it in"), and / or you didn't watch it on tv, then you all you've seen is clip after clip after clip of the onside kick recovery. Don't get me wrong, the last minute and a half of that game was CRAZY great....but the other 47+ minutes were pretty swell too.
My favorite non-game moment of the afternoon had to be when the stadium announcer came over the loudspeaker about 20 minutes after the game had ended to thank all of the Duck fans that went home early. That was pretty darn funny, until I found out that my oldest son was one of the ones who left. In his defense, he NEVER leaves early - none of my kids do because I taught them better than that - but, that day, he did, and he probably never will again. Anyway, it was just ironic.
My second favorite moment was when my friend (who is also my boss) leaned over to my husband and said, "You know, its not over 'till its over," which just so happened to be what I had been saying to him about every ten or fifteen seconds for the previous ten or so minutes (someone told me yesterday that the final 1:54 of the game took about 30 minutes to play. What's the old saying?? "If you have two minutes to live, you want to be at a football game."). He told me that he'd do anything I wanted for the rest of my life if I just would NOT utter those words again. Then Chris leaned over and said them. It was just pretty funny.
My least favorite moment, well, moments actually? Each and every friggen' time I had to hear that STUPID OU fight song (do do do doooo, do do do doooo, do do do dooooo, shoot me noh-ow). I lived in Nebraska before Oregon. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, it was a great day, a great game, a great venue, and we were with great friends. Is this heaven? No, its Autzen.
September 7, 2006
September 5, 2006
Our First Anniversary!
My husband and I celebrated our first anniversary on August 6, 2006. This is a picture of us that we had our waiter take at the restaurant after we'd eaten dinner.I am lucky woman - this man is my best friend and the love of my life. We laugh a lot - he is the funniest person you will ever meet in your life - and we agree that that is a good thing.
We've been friends since we were twelve years old. That makes for a good foundation for a great marriage - we highly recommend marrying your best friend!!
First Days of School, 1987-2006
This is my 20th first day of school. Twenty. When did I get so old?
Seriously, I remember walking into Jacksonville Elementary with Stevie, twenty years ago today (give or take a couple of days I'm sure), holding his little hand in mine, and fighting back the tears. His dad had just left us the day before, and none of us knew what the implications of that were going to end up being, yet my tears that day were mostly first-day-of-school related. Above all else, I am a mom...
The following September, it was me and Danny, hand in hand, walking into Roosevelt Elementary. Life was a bit calmer then - at least not so unknown - but there were still tears. Maybe it was the "my baby boy is leaving" thing, or maybe there is just something about this day of school emotion that lets you know life will never be as it was again. And if you really liked "as it was", leaving that behind can somewhat suck.
1998 - me and my boyz.
Fast-forward to 1989 - it's Noelle's hand I hang onto in that memory. I am embarrassed to admit that I cannot recall Stevie's kindergarten teacher's name, but Dan and Noi both had Mrs. Munson. Patty Munson - - my kids loved her, absolutely loved her. I cried when I left Noelle there, but I was excited for her too. I knew Mrs. Munson would make Noelle's kindergarten experience wonderful, just as she had done for Danny, and I was right. I am not sure it ever gets any better for kids than kindergarten
Then came a string of non-first time first days. First days of school, but not first times at school as well. Different? Yes. Easier? No. Rites of passage always make me cry, and first days of school are no exception.
Today was the first day of middle school for Naomi. And the first day in the "upper building" (grades 4-8) for Nattie. Naomi has a locker to master now, PE clothes to buy, and electives to choose. She's growing up faster and faster with each passing day, and while I adore the young woman she is growing into, I can't help but miss my precious little baby girl. No one ever tells you that this part of being a mom is so incredibly hard.
Then there's my baby - truly, my baby. The fifth of five, and she is growing like a weed as well. The 2006 / 2007 school year is here, and Nattie is navigating her way around a new classroom, her sister's old one. Its a 4th / 5th blended room, so she is now in a class that is about 50% her pals, and 50% Naomi's classmates and friends from last year. She's going to enjoy that class.
I was actually doing fairly well today - I'd had a couple of weepy moments early on, but by the time it was time to get the girls moving in a forward direction, I had pulled it together fairly well. We (Oscar is always here for first days of school) dropped Naomi off, helped her with the locker combination, got her signed in and settled in, and then we headed back to get Nattie. "Middle School - can you believe that O?" I asked him in the car on the drive back to the house.
"No, I really can't, "he replied, "And just think, six more years and then she's gone." Ok, so, HELLO?!! This was NOT the thing to say to me right at that moment. The floodgates opened and the melancholy feeling has not left me yet. I think that's because with older kids who are 25, 23, and 21 this year, I know just how fast those six years will go. And no one wants to hold their mom's hand when they go into school for their senior year.
September whatever-the-day-will-be, 2012 will be my 27th first day of school; 2014 my 29th. Yet they won't feel any differently than that day in September of 1987, or '88, or '89...or any of the others inbetween now and then.
Thank God for Bindy.
Seriously, I remember walking into Jacksonville Elementary with Stevie, twenty years ago today (give or take a couple of days I'm sure), holding his little hand in mine, and fighting back the tears. His dad had just left us the day before, and none of us knew what the implications of that were going to end up being, yet my tears that day were mostly first-day-of-school related. Above all else, I am a mom...
The following September, it was me and Danny, hand in hand, walking into Roosevelt Elementary. Life was a bit calmer then - at least not so unknown - but there were still tears. Maybe it was the "my baby boy is leaving" thing, or maybe there is just something about this day of school emotion that lets you know life will never be as it was again. And if you really liked "as it was", leaving that behind can somewhat suck.
1998 - me and my boyz.
Fast-forward to 1989 - it's Noelle's hand I hang onto in that memory. I am embarrassed to admit that I cannot recall Stevie's kindergarten teacher's name, but Dan and Noi both had Mrs. Munson. Patty Munson - - my kids loved her, absolutely loved her. I cried when I left Noelle there, but I was excited for her too. I knew Mrs. Munson would make Noelle's kindergarten experience wonderful, just as she had done for Danny, and I was right. I am not sure it ever gets any better for kids than kindergarten
Then came a string of non-first time first days. First days of school, but not first times at school as well. Different? Yes. Easier? No. Rites of passage always make me cry, and first days of school are no exception.
Today was the first day of middle school for Naomi. And the first day in the "upper building" (grades 4-8) for Nattie. Naomi has a locker to master now, PE clothes to buy, and electives to choose. She's growing up faster and faster with each passing day, and while I adore the young woman she is growing into, I can't help but miss my precious little baby girl. No one ever tells you that this part of being a mom is so incredibly hard.
Then there's my baby - truly, my baby. The fifth of five, and she is growing like a weed as well. The 2006 / 2007 school year is here, and Nattie is navigating her way around a new classroom, her sister's old one. Its a 4th / 5th blended room, so she is now in a class that is about 50% her pals, and 50% Naomi's classmates and friends from last year. She's going to enjoy that class.
I was actually doing fairly well today - I'd had a couple of weepy moments early on, but by the time it was time to get the girls moving in a forward direction, I had pulled it together fairly well. We (Oscar is always here for first days of school) dropped Naomi off, helped her with the locker combination, got her signed in and settled in, and then we headed back to get Nattie. "Middle School - can you believe that O?" I asked him in the car on the drive back to the house.
"No, I really can't, "he replied, "And just think, six more years and then she's gone." Ok, so, HELLO?!! This was NOT the thing to say to me right at that moment. The floodgates opened and the melancholy feeling has not left me yet. I think that's because with older kids who are 25, 23, and 21 this year, I know just how fast those six years will go. And no one wants to hold their mom's hand when they go into school for their senior year.
September whatever-the-day-will-be, 2012 will be my 27th first day of school; 2014 my 29th. Yet they won't feel any differently than that day in September of 1987, or '88, or '89...or any of the others inbetween now and then.
Thank God for Bindy.
September 3, 2006
August 25, 2006
The DaVinci Code
Just finished reading The DaVinci Code tonight. I was supposed to be reading it with my husband before we go to see the movie, but I got really into it, and he got really sick with a chest cold, so, subsequently, I was up until 1:00 0r 2:00 each night (morning?) reading while he happily rested in his Nyquil-induced slumber. I finished tonight and he, well, he's got a lot of reading to do in the next week!
TDC was not a book I would typically pick for myself. I'm not really that into mysteries and/or thrillers, but my husband read the prequel, Angels and Demons, and that really jazzed him for the movie version of "DaVinci". I, too, had some interest in the movie, but I try to always read the book first, so we just decided to read it together - a two person book club kinda thing. Much to my surprise, I simply couldn't put the thing down! It was absolutely riveting. I told my husband tonight that I cannot remember the last time I read a book that I couldn't wait to turn the page because I felt like I absolutely HAD to know what was going to happen next. I'd love a two hour conversation with Dan Brown, just regarding his research for this book. I bet it would be fascinating.
Anyway, it was a really good read...and, oh yes by the way, its fiction people! If you have a bee in your bonnet over this book, it is seriously time to let it go - enjoy the terrific writing and gifted storytelling, and don't try to make anything else out of it. And, seriously, if you're really angry about it, try not reading it. Life's too short and precious of a gift to get worked up over this.
Happy weekend....and GO MURRAYHILL LITTLE LEAGUE!!!!
TDC was not a book I would typically pick for myself. I'm not really that into mysteries and/or thrillers, but my husband read the prequel, Angels and Demons, and that really jazzed him for the movie version of "DaVinci". I, too, had some interest in the movie, but I try to always read the book first, so we just decided to read it together - a two person book club kinda thing. Much to my surprise, I simply couldn't put the thing down! It was absolutely riveting. I told my husband tonight that I cannot remember the last time I read a book that I couldn't wait to turn the page because I felt like I absolutely HAD to know what was going to happen next. I'd love a two hour conversation with Dan Brown, just regarding his research for this book. I bet it would be fascinating.
Anyway, it was a really good read...and, oh yes by the way, its fiction people! If you have a bee in your bonnet over this book, it is seriously time to let it go - enjoy the terrific writing and gifted storytelling, and don't try to make anything else out of it. And, seriously, if you're really angry about it, try not reading it. Life's too short and precious of a gift to get worked up over this.
Happy weekend....and GO MURRAYHILL LITTLE LEAGUE!!!!
August 24, 2006
Do or Die, Now or Never, Sink or Swim, **** or get off the Pot....take your pick
I run a camp, so, subsequently, I live here too, with my family. Its 150+ acres (the "little piece of heaven" I refer to on my profile). I live surrounded by beautiful trees, a river, great trails to hike, and the many amenities of a camp - a pool, an indoor gym, and worship center where my family and I like to go watch movies on the big screen, a cook year-round, etc.. One of those amenities is a high ropes challenge course. If you're not familiar with what that is, it is a version of an obstacle course thirty-five feet off the ground, up in the trees. You could probably Google "high ropes course" or "challenge course" and get a good visual of what I am talking about. Ours is three summers old - we built it in 2004 - contains five elements.
I don't mind heights, but I am scared to death of being out of control - I hate roller coasters and those stupid "virtual reality" rides like Star Tours at Disneyland. I am a "its a small world after all" girl all the way....soooooooo, needless to say, the high ropes course is not my thing. I went down the last element - a zip line - when we completed the course in 2004. Actually, the course wasn't even completed when I went down the zip. My colleague, Al, was working on the fourth element (the zip is the fifth) as I scaled the tree to go down the zip line. I was 35 feet up in the air, standing on a tiny wooden platform, trying to mentally prepare myself for stepping off a platform while hooked to a cable, and "zipping" about 70 (??) yards down through the trees and into our ball field. "Trying to mentally prepare myself" was defined as this: Choking back tears and asking Al for tequila, a pretty funny (now) statement as Al is a rather conservative colleague, and absolute tee-totaler. I've been in no rush to climb back up into the trees to zip again, or check out any of the other elements. But this summer, I required my entire staff to go through a complete ropes course training, and I promised them that, if they all passed, they could put me through the course before the summer's end. Today is August 24th - that is pretty darn close to the summer's end, so today, they decided, was "the" day, which means that lastnight was not my best night's sleep ever.
My favorite part of my job is the amazingly GREAT people that it brings into my life, and my staff kids have to be at the top of that list. They are, hands down, the most positive, encouraging, hard-working, supportive, and all around GREAT people. They bring so many blessings to my world, I couldn't even begin to explain it here. So, today, there we were - all gathered around our ropes course, and, after a couple of them went up, it was my turn to give it a whirl. My knees were shaking I was so nervous and scared.
Our first element is a giant's ladder - three pieces of PVC-like pipe, suspended in the trees resembling a big ladder, and the purpose of the element is to maneuver your way up the ladder (the rungs are about five feet apart, and, again, hanging in the middle of the trees, so, thusly, swaying A LOT as they are climbed!!!) and onto the platform that leads you to the second element. Everyone told me the ladder was (is) the hardest element, and that it requires a lot of upper body strength to pull yourself up from rung to rung. I made it as far as standing on the first rung, attempting to maneuver myself up to the second...but I have never had a lot of upper body strength, so once my arms began to shake and ultimately go numb, I asked to be "bileted" (I have no idea how you spell that, but you pronounce it "bih lay") back down. I skipped that element, and the one it leads into, and began to climb the tree to the third element, an Indiana Jones style bridge.
This bridge is made up of groups of wooden slats that move when you step onto them. Each group is just a little further apart than would be comfortable to just walk across....and then, oh yeh by the way, there's that whole "connected by a wire cable thirty-five feet in the air" thing. But, with my staff kid CJ's help, and a LOT of encouragement from the others, I successfully got across both that bridge, and the subsequent "Tarzan rope element" that followed. It was on that Tarzan element that I named this blog.
From the platform, you step out onto a cable - that's it, a wire cable, perhaps two inches in diameter, maybe less, and begin to navigate your way across it by holding onto, and pulling yourself forward (well, sideways really because you are standing sideways on the cable) across to the zip line's platform. Again, the ropes are just far enough apart that it is a stretch to have your right hand hanging onto one of them at the same time that your left hand is as well. I believe there are five or six ropes. I was two ropes into my travels across the cable (did I mention that the cable is pretty small????), again with CJ right there before me, encouraging and coaching all the way, when I just about gave into my fear. Again, it isn't the fear of the heights - in fact, I quite liked the bird's eye view of everything from up there (it was my second great view of the day, but that is another blog.....) - but the fear of being out of control. I did not feel in charge at that moment and that scares me to death. I was thirty-five feet in the air, walking on a small piece of wire, navigating my hands from swinging rope to swinging rope, trembling so badly that the wire beneath my feet was shaking. I wanted off that cable so badly, I cannot even begin to tell you how much so. I had two or three ropes left and I was about to lose it. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it was about to erupt out of my chest. I wanted off that cable. It was at that do or die, now or never, sink or swim, **** or get off the pot moment, that I very clearly heard my friend, Jeff's words, "Fear is not of God." Fear is not of God.
Jeff is a gifted dramatist and his ministry is traveling around the world, helping people learn to use the creative arts to share the Gospel message. In his travels, he works to bring folks out of their comfort zone in regards to using drama, movement, and other creative "stuff". This stuff does not scare me at all, but it terrifies many...and his encouragement to them is always that statement - fear is not of God. I can talk to anybody at any time about anything and not be scared. I can talk in front of hundreds, if not thousands of people, and not be scared. I am in no way, shape, or form, afraid of being in front of people, and / or making a fool of myself while I am there - in fact, truth be told, I love it. I absolutely LOVE being the center of attention! But today, I was absolutely paralyzed with fear when it came time to reach out for that third set of ropes.....but, say it with me now, "fear is not of God". And, despite what my profile says, really, above all I am a child of God. I know Him. I love Him. I trust Him. And I know that fear is not of Him.
Today, on that cable, I swallowed my tears of fear (not to be confused with the 80's one-hit-wonders, Tears for Fears, of "I know this much is true" fame....well, ok, "fame" might be a bit of a stretch....). Anyway, I swallowed my tears, and I took a breath so deep that my heart had no choice but to stop pounding so damn hard, and I told myself that I am a child of the Most-High God, and that fear is not of Him, and I reached for those ropes that CJ was holding out for me. And guess what? They were there. I grasped that set of ropes, and the next ones as well, and I made it to the platform, hooked onto the zip line, and sailed off down through the trees without even one thought of tequila (well, ok, maybe just one...but it was brief!). It was an amazing experience.
How many times in life are we faced with those "do or die" moments - those moments where everything feels dangerously suspended in mid-air, and the ropes to safety and security are just out of our reach? I can think of many times when I have been afraid, only to succumb to that fear and not even attempt to grab the rope, let alone perhaps miss it. I was so proud and pumped when I came down from that zip line today - I had DONE IT!! I had conquered a three-year long fear and I had overcome what I thought to be my own mental weaknesses. How many opportunities to feel like that have I missed because I didn't hear, or didn't know, or didn't accept, that fear is not of God. How many other amazing experiences have I missed out on because I have indeed, been afraid?
Tonight, I am choosing to acknowledge those losses, but not dwell on them. Tonight, I am celebrating today's win, and I am feeling pretty darn good about continuing on across that cable this afternoon, empowered by the encouragement of my amazing staff kids, and the safe-keeping of my awesome God. I gotta admit, that feels pretty good.
I don't mind heights, but I am scared to death of being out of control - I hate roller coasters and those stupid "virtual reality" rides like Star Tours at Disneyland. I am a "its a small world after all" girl all the way....soooooooo, needless to say, the high ropes course is not my thing. I went down the last element - a zip line - when we completed the course in 2004. Actually, the course wasn't even completed when I went down the zip. My colleague, Al, was working on the fourth element (the zip is the fifth) as I scaled the tree to go down the zip line. I was 35 feet up in the air, standing on a tiny wooden platform, trying to mentally prepare myself for stepping off a platform while hooked to a cable, and "zipping" about 70 (??) yards down through the trees and into our ball field. "Trying to mentally prepare myself" was defined as this: Choking back tears and asking Al for tequila, a pretty funny (now) statement as Al is a rather conservative colleague, and absolute tee-totaler. I've been in no rush to climb back up into the trees to zip again, or check out any of the other elements. But this summer, I required my entire staff to go through a complete ropes course training, and I promised them that, if they all passed, they could put me through the course before the summer's end. Today is August 24th - that is pretty darn close to the summer's end, so today, they decided, was "the" day, which means that lastnight was not my best night's sleep ever.
My favorite part of my job is the amazingly GREAT people that it brings into my life, and my staff kids have to be at the top of that list. They are, hands down, the most positive, encouraging, hard-working, supportive, and all around GREAT people. They bring so many blessings to my world, I couldn't even begin to explain it here. So, today, there we were - all gathered around our ropes course, and, after a couple of them went up, it was my turn to give it a whirl. My knees were shaking I was so nervous and scared.
Our first element is a giant's ladder - three pieces of PVC-like pipe, suspended in the trees resembling a big ladder, and the purpose of the element is to maneuver your way up the ladder (the rungs are about five feet apart, and, again, hanging in the middle of the trees, so, thusly, swaying A LOT as they are climbed!!!) and onto the platform that leads you to the second element. Everyone told me the ladder was (is) the hardest element, and that it requires a lot of upper body strength to pull yourself up from rung to rung. I made it as far as standing on the first rung, attempting to maneuver myself up to the second...but I have never had a lot of upper body strength, so once my arms began to shake and ultimately go numb, I asked to be "bileted" (I have no idea how you spell that, but you pronounce it "bih lay") back down. I skipped that element, and the one it leads into, and began to climb the tree to the third element, an Indiana Jones style bridge.
This bridge is made up of groups of wooden slats that move when you step onto them. Each group is just a little further apart than would be comfortable to just walk across....and then, oh yeh by the way, there's that whole "connected by a wire cable thirty-five feet in the air" thing. But, with my staff kid CJ's help, and a LOT of encouragement from the others, I successfully got across both that bridge, and the subsequent "Tarzan rope element" that followed. It was on that Tarzan element that I named this blog.
From the platform, you step out onto a cable - that's it, a wire cable, perhaps two inches in diameter, maybe less, and begin to navigate your way across it by holding onto, and pulling yourself forward (well, sideways really because you are standing sideways on the cable) across to the zip line's platform. Again, the ropes are just far enough apart that it is a stretch to have your right hand hanging onto one of them at the same time that your left hand is as well. I believe there are five or six ropes. I was two ropes into my travels across the cable (did I mention that the cable is pretty small????), again with CJ right there before me, encouraging and coaching all the way, when I just about gave into my fear. Again, it isn't the fear of the heights - in fact, I quite liked the bird's eye view of everything from up there (it was my second great view of the day, but that is another blog.....) - but the fear of being out of control. I did not feel in charge at that moment and that scares me to death. I was thirty-five feet in the air, walking on a small piece of wire, navigating my hands from swinging rope to swinging rope, trembling so badly that the wire beneath my feet was shaking. I wanted off that cable so badly, I cannot even begin to tell you how much so. I had two or three ropes left and I was about to lose it. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it was about to erupt out of my chest. I wanted off that cable. It was at that do or die, now or never, sink or swim, **** or get off the pot moment, that I very clearly heard my friend, Jeff's words, "Fear is not of God." Fear is not of God.
Jeff is a gifted dramatist and his ministry is traveling around the world, helping people learn to use the creative arts to share the Gospel message. In his travels, he works to bring folks out of their comfort zone in regards to using drama, movement, and other creative "stuff". This stuff does not scare me at all, but it terrifies many...and his encouragement to them is always that statement - fear is not of God. I can talk to anybody at any time about anything and not be scared. I can talk in front of hundreds, if not thousands of people, and not be scared. I am in no way, shape, or form, afraid of being in front of people, and / or making a fool of myself while I am there - in fact, truth be told, I love it. I absolutely LOVE being the center of attention! But today, I was absolutely paralyzed with fear when it came time to reach out for that third set of ropes.....but, say it with me now, "fear is not of God". And, despite what my profile says, really, above all I am a child of God. I know Him. I love Him. I trust Him. And I know that fear is not of Him.
Today, on that cable, I swallowed my tears of fear (not to be confused with the 80's one-hit-wonders, Tears for Fears, of "I know this much is true" fame....well, ok, "fame" might be a bit of a stretch....). Anyway, I swallowed my tears, and I took a breath so deep that my heart had no choice but to stop pounding so damn hard, and I told myself that I am a child of the Most-High God, and that fear is not of Him, and I reached for those ropes that CJ was holding out for me. And guess what? They were there. I grasped that set of ropes, and the next ones as well, and I made it to the platform, hooked onto the zip line, and sailed off down through the trees without even one thought of tequila (well, ok, maybe just one...but it was brief!). It was an amazing experience.
How many times in life are we faced with those "do or die" moments - those moments where everything feels dangerously suspended in mid-air, and the ropes to safety and security are just out of our reach? I can think of many times when I have been afraid, only to succumb to that fear and not even attempt to grab the rope, let alone perhaps miss it. I was so proud and pumped when I came down from that zip line today - I had DONE IT!! I had conquered a three-year long fear and I had overcome what I thought to be my own mental weaknesses. How many opportunities to feel like that have I missed because I didn't hear, or didn't know, or didn't accept, that fear is not of God. How many other amazing experiences have I missed out on because I have indeed, been afraid?
Tonight, I am choosing to acknowledge those losses, but not dwell on them. Tonight, I am celebrating today's win, and I am feeling pretty darn good about continuing on across that cable this afternoon, empowered by the encouragement of my amazing staff kids, and the safe-keeping of my awesome God. I gotta admit, that feels pretty good.
August 22, 2006
Testing, testing, one, two, three
Ok, bear with me here - I am trying something out here in hopes of transferring to my work website.
August 20, 2006
There's a woman in here?
My husband and I just finished drafting the first of our (hopefully) three (maybe just two) Fantasy Football teams. It was quite the hoot - he gets incredibly intense over things that I am just able to laugh off (like whether we're picking our fourth running back or our first, and only, kicker, in the 11th, or the 12th round), and I get pretty fired up about stuff that just doesn't phase him ("We only have 40 seconds left. Okay, 35. 30. 25. There's 10 seconds left - we need to pick a player!!!"). Despite his threats of fining me for trash-talking to our fellow league members ("Shut the hell up Anthony."), and despite my threats of making him sleep on the couch for his refusal to even consider picking Reggie Bush first (who OF COURSE was gone after the first round....), I think we're going to have a lot of fun in this league. It is made up of kids from my summer staff, the Pastor of one of our ABC churches in Eugene, his father, some of the church's members, and what appears to be some random family members as well. Several of them met up at the church (in Eugene) tonight to draft together. My non-churchy husband thought that was going to give them an unfair advantage, you know, drafting from God's house and all. But then I reminded him that I work for God, so I think the playing field was even. I also told him that God would take Reggie Bush first as well....but he didn't buy it.
I love sports. I love sports fans. I love sports people. I just love sports. I thank my parents for that - my dad took me to a lot of sporting events, and my mom is a big fan as well, as long as she knows someone who is playing. She hit a man once who called my brother an idiot for dropping a ball in a football game. It is not a moment she is proud of, but I still tell the story all the time because I just love it. It cracks me up to think of my (basically) mild-mannered mother just clockin' this guy for hollerin' at my brother. :-) But my dad is the one who really instilled the love of athletics in me, especially amateur athletics. Back in the late 60's, when the UCLA Bruins were winning all those men's basketball games in a row, my daddy would call me into the living room every time they were on tv, and make sure I realized that I was watching "history in the making". I've never forgotten that. Then, of course, I spent the years I was ages six - nine in Omaha, Nebraska and, well, if you live in Nebraska and you are into sports at all, then you have to love Husker Football. And I did. And I still do too.
I've been around sports all my life and I love it - I absolutely love it. You can keep the pros (although the Fantasy leagues make the NFL more interesting these days...) and give me high school and college sports any day - my happiest memories of raising my first three kids (the other two are still being raised...) are of watching them compete in the various sports they participated in as they were growing. There was nothing like watching Steve go coast to coast on the court, or Dan tear up the football field, or Noi run the track. The kids playing at that level, and the collegiate level too, are still playing for all the right reasons (for the most part). And as long as they are suiting up and taking the field, this woman will still be in the stands...and in the chat rooms and in the drafts.
So yeh, gentlemen, there's a woman in here - in "your" sports world. There's not many of us, but there's more than there used to be. And, as best I can tell, we're here to stay. And, as best I can tell, that's really ok with you guys. So, yeh, thanks. :-)
I love sports. I love sports fans. I love sports people. I just love sports. I thank my parents for that - my dad took me to a lot of sporting events, and my mom is a big fan as well, as long as she knows someone who is playing. She hit a man once who called my brother an idiot for dropping a ball in a football game. It is not a moment she is proud of, but I still tell the story all the time because I just love it. It cracks me up to think of my (basically) mild-mannered mother just clockin' this guy for hollerin' at my brother. :-) But my dad is the one who really instilled the love of athletics in me, especially amateur athletics. Back in the late 60's, when the UCLA Bruins were winning all those men's basketball games in a row, my daddy would call me into the living room every time they were on tv, and make sure I realized that I was watching "history in the making". I've never forgotten that. Then, of course, I spent the years I was ages six - nine in Omaha, Nebraska and, well, if you live in Nebraska and you are into sports at all, then you have to love Husker Football. And I did. And I still do too.
I've been around sports all my life and I love it - I absolutely love it. You can keep the pros (although the Fantasy leagues make the NFL more interesting these days...) and give me high school and college sports any day - my happiest memories of raising my first three kids (the other two are still being raised...) are of watching them compete in the various sports they participated in as they were growing. There was nothing like watching Steve go coast to coast on the court, or Dan tear up the football field, or Noi run the track. The kids playing at that level, and the collegiate level too, are still playing for all the right reasons (for the most part). And as long as they are suiting up and taking the field, this woman will still be in the stands...and in the chat rooms and in the drafts.
So yeh, gentlemen, there's a woman in here - in "your" sports world. There's not many of us, but there's more than there used to be. And, as best I can tell, we're here to stay. And, as best I can tell, that's really ok with you guys. So, yeh, thanks. :-)
August 19, 2006
Something New
I've always loved to write so this just seems like the natural 21st century progression....joining the "blog" world. I've had a myspace page for awhile now and I like it, but I feel the need to be a bit more "professional" there than sometimes I would like to be. So maybe this will be my "free verse" space.....
Anyway, welcome to my blog. Thanks for droppin' by.
Anyway, welcome to my blog. Thanks for droppin' by.
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