...twenty four little hours. Oh wait, singing it won't work. Its still the title of the blog though. Truly, what a difference a year makes.
Today in 2005, I was pulling into the Mt. Hood Community College parking lot for the first day of classes. I froze. Completely and totally froze. Called my husband from the car, crying, telling him I couldn't get out, couldn't go to class, couldn't do any of this. I was a basket case. I had not been in a classroom since March of 1981 and it wasn't looking too good for me to darken the door to one in September of 2005 either!
Long story short, my husband talked me out of the car, and into my math class....and now, one year, and five A's and two B's later, I can't imagine NOT being in school. So today? Well, it was no problem getting out of the car and strolling into my math class...and as I type that here, I truly can't believe I am saying it.
Going back to school for my degree has been a goal of mine since Noelle was 2. She's 21 now. Its always been out there as something I not only should, but want, to do. Like with most things, the first step was the hardest. Now it is almost a piece of cake.
The schedule gets a little crazy. And community college or no, it is spendy. Almost $300 today alone just for books! Finding time to do the homework is a battle unto itself, but I am hopeful that will settle in in a few weeks. But even with all that, I still love being there - I love the atmosphere, the people, the teachers, and energy in the air, and I love, and I mean LOVE, the learning. It is just the coolest, coolest thing to be 45 years old and still learning so very, very much.
Shauna is my inspiration for my schooling. She would have been 45 on Saturday (the 23rd) and I still cry everyday for her. I just miss her so much. Today, on the way back from school, I was listening to one of the cd's she made me. It was from 2004, and is the only "post-cancer" collection of music she put together for me. (The others were made before the cancer diagnosis.) It is obvious that something was different - she was different. You can't go through what she went through and not be changed. But it was a good different - a deeper, more thought-ful, softer, more introspective and authentic different. I cried all the way home, missing her, knowing she was there with me, knowing how proud she is of my slow and steady plugging away at my degree, and, again, missing her so much.
Yeh, a year makes a lot of difference for some things. Others, well, not so much.
September 26, 2006
September 19, 2006
My last word, I promise.
My husband, who is the funniest person on the planet, had this to say about the officiating crew from Saturday's game: "Yeh, they're hated in Oklahoma, but Nebraska is erecting a statue of them."
September 18, 2006
We'll take it.
In light of my previous post today, and this article from the Oregonian's online edition (http://www.oregonlive.com/sportsflash/college/index.ssf?/base/sports-11/1158615577227210.xml&storylist=college&thispage=1), I felt compelled to send the letter below to the Oregonian, as well as posting it here. I am not convinced I won't send it to the Pac 10 commisioner, the Big 12 commisioner and the University of Oklahoma's moronic president as well. I love amateur athletics, but quite frankly, I hate the culture the adults involved have created around it.
I vividly (Craig Moser was our kicker) remember the Crater (my high school) - Medford (the big, bad, hated, evil Black Tornado, as Medford only had one high school until 1985, not to say that I don't still despise the Black Tornado, but that's a different blog!!) football game my freshman year of high school, 1975. I was sick and unable to attend, but, of course, was listening on the radio. Medford was the terminal Goliath back in those days, and Crater (along with several others in the Southern Oregon Conference) were the Davids. Yet, we had a chance to win, AT THEIR FIELD, on a field goal right at the end of the game. We made it, but there was a flag on the play. The official said we had too many guys on the line. It was a bad call, as everyone would find out the next day when game film had been reviewed, and we lost the game. The next day in the paper, Medford's coach was quoted as saying, "Crater should have had the win, but we'll take it." We didn't have too many players on the line - we had done just what we were supposed to do - and our kick was good and we had indeed won the game. And it indeed is still in the record books today as a Medford win. That is just how it goes.
As I remember it, our players were heartbroken and angry, and rightly so. But when all the dust had cleared, all the tears had dried, and all the anger had dissipated, our team realized that there had been other blown calls, other missed opportunities, and other factors both within, and out of, their control, that were a part of playing that game. It became almost enough for each of them, and their fans, in our minds to know that, in reality, we had won that game. In reality, our field goal was good and the time had expired and Medford's coach was right, we should have had the win. But Medford got to take it. That was just the way it went, and here's a newsflash Sooners - that was just the way it went for you guys this past weekend. If the game really came down to just those two blown calls (and, again, this is probably for another blog another time, but if you're going to question two controversial calls, then shouldn't you really be questioning ALL the controversial calls, because if one of those goes the other way earlier in the game, then maybe the game isn't even on the line, or within being on the line, at the end? As my sixth man, Josh, says, "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, then it would be Christmas everyday."), then yeh, you should have had the win. But guess what? We'll take it.
(My letter:
There were hundreds, if not thousands, of football games played all over the country, at every level, this past weekend. Subsequently, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of blown calls by officials. That's just part of the game and every fan knows it. We hate it, but we know it coming in. There were blown calls in the Duck / Sooner game before the two "crucial" ones at the end of the game, and they were blown on both sides of the ball. Isn't every call, blown or not, crucial? Can't the argument be made that every call, blown or not, affects the outcome of the game in some manner?
I am not sure how I feel about the suspension of the officials - I guess I am glad that wasn't my decision to make - but I certainly know how I feel about the University of Oklahoma president asking the Big 12 commisioner to pursue having the game eliminated from the record books and the officials suspended for the rest of the season. It is the same way I feel about amateur athletics (which, by the way, I absolutely love) in general: Wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of all the whining adults and just let the players play the game, and relish the opportunity they have to be playing, at whatever level that may be?)
I vividly (Craig Moser was our kicker) remember the Crater (my high school) - Medford (the big, bad, hated, evil Black Tornado, as Medford only had one high school until 1985, not to say that I don't still despise the Black Tornado, but that's a different blog!!) football game my freshman year of high school, 1975. I was sick and unable to attend, but, of course, was listening on the radio. Medford was the terminal Goliath back in those days, and Crater (along with several others in the Southern Oregon Conference) were the Davids. Yet, we had a chance to win, AT THEIR FIELD, on a field goal right at the end of the game. We made it, but there was a flag on the play. The official said we had too many guys on the line. It was a bad call, as everyone would find out the next day when game film had been reviewed, and we lost the game. The next day in the paper, Medford's coach was quoted as saying, "Crater should have had the win, but we'll take it." We didn't have too many players on the line - we had done just what we were supposed to do - and our kick was good and we had indeed won the game. And it indeed is still in the record books today as a Medford win. That is just how it goes.
As I remember it, our players were heartbroken and angry, and rightly so. But when all the dust had cleared, all the tears had dried, and all the anger had dissipated, our team realized that there had been other blown calls, other missed opportunities, and other factors both within, and out of, their control, that were a part of playing that game. It became almost enough for each of them, and their fans, in our minds to know that, in reality, we had won that game. In reality, our field goal was good and the time had expired and Medford's coach was right, we should have had the win. But Medford got to take it. That was just the way it went, and here's a newsflash Sooners - that was just the way it went for you guys this past weekend. If the game really came down to just those two blown calls (and, again, this is probably for another blog another time, but if you're going to question two controversial calls, then shouldn't you really be questioning ALL the controversial calls, because if one of those goes the other way earlier in the game, then maybe the game isn't even on the line, or within being on the line, at the end? As my sixth man, Josh, says, "If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, then it would be Christmas everyday."), then yeh, you should have had the win. But guess what? We'll take it.
(My letter:
There were hundreds, if not thousands, of football games played all over the country, at every level, this past weekend. Subsequently, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of blown calls by officials. That's just part of the game and every fan knows it. We hate it, but we know it coming in. There were blown calls in the Duck / Sooner game before the two "crucial" ones at the end of the game, and they were blown on both sides of the ball. Isn't every call, blown or not, crucial? Can't the argument be made that every call, blown or not, affects the outcome of the game in some manner?
I am not sure how I feel about the suspension of the officials - I guess I am glad that wasn't my decision to make - but I certainly know how I feel about the University of Oklahoma president asking the Big 12 commisioner to pursue having the game eliminated from the record books and the officials suspended for the rest of the season. It is the same way I feel about amateur athletics (which, by the way, I absolutely love) in general: Wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of all the whining adults and just let the players play the game, and relish the opportunity they have to be playing, at whatever level that may be?)
See it? We were THERE!!!
The most spoken phrase in the state of Oregon on Sunday? "Did you see the Duck game yesterday?" To that, we answer, "See it? We were THERE!!" Yep yep - we were there, along with a record 59,260-some other fans (not bad for a stadium with a capacity of 54,00) (and I should make it clear that my OSU hubby is not so much a Duck fan, but a fan of great college football, played in great college stadiums, on warm fall afternoons, no matter who the teams are on the field...) to witness what will most-assuredly go down in the books (if it hasn't already) as one of the most amazing, and most controversial, comebacks in college football history.
I'm a huge Duck fan, so there is just no way for me to address the tipped ball and the onside kick calls there at the end of the game without sounding biased, so I won't even attempt. What I do know is that the officials took a LOT of time to review those calls, which was something they didn't even attempt to do with what I consider to be the two most controversial calls that went in the Sooners' favor - the play where time on the play clock had expired (I was watching the play clock and saw it tick off to zero, then turned my head back to the players, had time to yell, "PlAY CLOCK" and watch them STILL get the ball snapped. Blown call.), and the pass interference no call made (or rather, not made) down by my end zone (ball thrown by Sooner QB. Sooner receiver and Duck defender are neck and neck. Sooner receiver pushes off Duck defender. Duck goes to the ground. Sooner makes catch. Autzen techno crew replays on the big screen. Duck fans go wild. Referee is voted off the island 56,000 to 3,000). So all that to say, there were controversial calls, and no calls, all during the game, on both sides of the ball. If one of those goes the other way, its a whole different ball game and there you go. If you weren't there (my obligatory "rubbing it in"), and / or you didn't watch it on tv, then you all you've seen is clip after clip after clip of the onside kick recovery. Don't get me wrong, the last minute and a half of that game was CRAZY great....but the other 47+ minutes were pretty swell too.
My favorite non-game moment of the afternoon had to be when the stadium announcer came over the loudspeaker about 20 minutes after the game had ended to thank all of the Duck fans that went home early. That was pretty darn funny, until I found out that my oldest son was one of the ones who left. In his defense, he NEVER leaves early - none of my kids do because I taught them better than that - but, that day, he did, and he probably never will again. Anyway, it was just ironic.
My second favorite moment was when my friend (who is also my boss) leaned over to my husband and said, "You know, its not over 'till its over," which just so happened to be what I had been saying to him about every ten or fifteen seconds for the previous ten or so minutes (someone told me yesterday that the final 1:54 of the game took about 30 minutes to play. What's the old saying?? "If you have two minutes to live, you want to be at a football game."). He told me that he'd do anything I wanted for the rest of my life if I just would NOT utter those words again. Then Chris leaned over and said them. It was just pretty funny.
My least favorite moment, well, moments actually? Each and every friggen' time I had to hear that STUPID OU fight song (do do do doooo, do do do doooo, do do do dooooo, shoot me noh-ow). I lived in Nebraska before Oregon. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, it was a great day, a great game, a great venue, and we were with great friends. Is this heaven? No, its Autzen.
September 7, 2006
September 5, 2006
Our First Anniversary!
My husband and I celebrated our first anniversary on August 6, 2006. This is a picture of us that we had our waiter take at the restaurant after we'd eaten dinner.I am lucky woman - this man is my best friend and the love of my life. We laugh a lot - he is the funniest person you will ever meet in your life - and we agree that that is a good thing.
We've been friends since we were twelve years old. That makes for a good foundation for a great marriage - we highly recommend marrying your best friend!!
First Days of School, 1987-2006
This is my 20th first day of school. Twenty. When did I get so old?
Seriously, I remember walking into Jacksonville Elementary with Stevie, twenty years ago today (give or take a couple of days I'm sure), holding his little hand in mine, and fighting back the tears. His dad had just left us the day before, and none of us knew what the implications of that were going to end up being, yet my tears that day were mostly first-day-of-school related. Above all else, I am a mom...
The following September, it was me and Danny, hand in hand, walking into Roosevelt Elementary. Life was a bit calmer then - at least not so unknown - but there were still tears. Maybe it was the "my baby boy is leaving" thing, or maybe there is just something about this day of school emotion that lets you know life will never be as it was again. And if you really liked "as it was", leaving that behind can somewhat suck.
1998 - me and my boyz.
Fast-forward to 1989 - it's Noelle's hand I hang onto in that memory. I am embarrassed to admit that I cannot recall Stevie's kindergarten teacher's name, but Dan and Noi both had Mrs. Munson. Patty Munson - - my kids loved her, absolutely loved her. I cried when I left Noelle there, but I was excited for her too. I knew Mrs. Munson would make Noelle's kindergarten experience wonderful, just as she had done for Danny, and I was right. I am not sure it ever gets any better for kids than kindergarten
Then came a string of non-first time first days. First days of school, but not first times at school as well. Different? Yes. Easier? No. Rites of passage always make me cry, and first days of school are no exception.
Today was the first day of middle school for Naomi. And the first day in the "upper building" (grades 4-8) for Nattie. Naomi has a locker to master now, PE clothes to buy, and electives to choose. She's growing up faster and faster with each passing day, and while I adore the young woman she is growing into, I can't help but miss my precious little baby girl. No one ever tells you that this part of being a mom is so incredibly hard.
Then there's my baby - truly, my baby. The fifth of five, and she is growing like a weed as well. The 2006 / 2007 school year is here, and Nattie is navigating her way around a new classroom, her sister's old one. Its a 4th / 5th blended room, so she is now in a class that is about 50% her pals, and 50% Naomi's classmates and friends from last year. She's going to enjoy that class.
I was actually doing fairly well today - I'd had a couple of weepy moments early on, but by the time it was time to get the girls moving in a forward direction, I had pulled it together fairly well. We (Oscar is always here for first days of school) dropped Naomi off, helped her with the locker combination, got her signed in and settled in, and then we headed back to get Nattie. "Middle School - can you believe that O?" I asked him in the car on the drive back to the house.
"No, I really can't, "he replied, "And just think, six more years and then she's gone." Ok, so, HELLO?!! This was NOT the thing to say to me right at that moment. The floodgates opened and the melancholy feeling has not left me yet. I think that's because with older kids who are 25, 23, and 21 this year, I know just how fast those six years will go. And no one wants to hold their mom's hand when they go into school for their senior year.
September whatever-the-day-will-be, 2012 will be my 27th first day of school; 2014 my 29th. Yet they won't feel any differently than that day in September of 1987, or '88, or '89...or any of the others inbetween now and then.
Thank God for Bindy.
Seriously, I remember walking into Jacksonville Elementary with Stevie, twenty years ago today (give or take a couple of days I'm sure), holding his little hand in mine, and fighting back the tears. His dad had just left us the day before, and none of us knew what the implications of that were going to end up being, yet my tears that day were mostly first-day-of-school related. Above all else, I am a mom...
The following September, it was me and Danny, hand in hand, walking into Roosevelt Elementary. Life was a bit calmer then - at least not so unknown - but there were still tears. Maybe it was the "my baby boy is leaving" thing, or maybe there is just something about this day of school emotion that lets you know life will never be as it was again. And if you really liked "as it was", leaving that behind can somewhat suck.
1998 - me and my boyz.
Fast-forward to 1989 - it's Noelle's hand I hang onto in that memory. I am embarrassed to admit that I cannot recall Stevie's kindergarten teacher's name, but Dan and Noi both had Mrs. Munson. Patty Munson - - my kids loved her, absolutely loved her. I cried when I left Noelle there, but I was excited for her too. I knew Mrs. Munson would make Noelle's kindergarten experience wonderful, just as she had done for Danny, and I was right. I am not sure it ever gets any better for kids than kindergarten
Then came a string of non-first time first days. First days of school, but not first times at school as well. Different? Yes. Easier? No. Rites of passage always make me cry, and first days of school are no exception.
Today was the first day of middle school for Naomi. And the first day in the "upper building" (grades 4-8) for Nattie. Naomi has a locker to master now, PE clothes to buy, and electives to choose. She's growing up faster and faster with each passing day, and while I adore the young woman she is growing into, I can't help but miss my precious little baby girl. No one ever tells you that this part of being a mom is so incredibly hard.
Then there's my baby - truly, my baby. The fifth of five, and she is growing like a weed as well. The 2006 / 2007 school year is here, and Nattie is navigating her way around a new classroom, her sister's old one. Its a 4th / 5th blended room, so she is now in a class that is about 50% her pals, and 50% Naomi's classmates and friends from last year. She's going to enjoy that class.
I was actually doing fairly well today - I'd had a couple of weepy moments early on, but by the time it was time to get the girls moving in a forward direction, I had pulled it together fairly well. We (Oscar is always here for first days of school) dropped Naomi off, helped her with the locker combination, got her signed in and settled in, and then we headed back to get Nattie. "Middle School - can you believe that O?" I asked him in the car on the drive back to the house.
"No, I really can't, "he replied, "And just think, six more years and then she's gone." Ok, so, HELLO?!! This was NOT the thing to say to me right at that moment. The floodgates opened and the melancholy feeling has not left me yet. I think that's because with older kids who are 25, 23, and 21 this year, I know just how fast those six years will go. And no one wants to hold their mom's hand when they go into school for their senior year.
September whatever-the-day-will-be, 2012 will be my 27th first day of school; 2014 my 29th. Yet they won't feel any differently than that day in September of 1987, or '88, or '89...or any of the others inbetween now and then.
Thank God for Bindy.
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