beyond the hours of hard work put in by the players, & the hundreds (okay, thousands) of dollars spent by parents (and grandparents and coaches) as skills are honed through "Y" ball, AAU, club sports, etc., the "game" brings with it a host of intangibles, and it is those intangibles that form my (un-lost) perspective. they create the lense with which i view "the game", and they are what make "the game" so very, very much more than a win, or a loss.
for me, "the game" includes...
* childhood memories of sitting in my daddy's lap, watching "the tall guy with the funny shot" (Lew Alcindor - now Kareem Abdul Jabbar) play for "that team that's winning all those games" (John Wooden's UCLA Bruins in the late 60's). that's why i love sports the way i do today. it all goes back to my daddy's lap...
* proud mom moments as my children excelled on the courts,
* lifelong friendships, grounded in the games' joys, sorrows, and even the games' "mundanes" (think playing outfield in a tee-ball game), with those who warmed the benches of the bleachers with me.
* for coaches, and other role models, who were part of the village that helped to raise my kids, and who remain a part of the village that supports, encourages,
* young single-mom memories of our family's football picks which included monday night picnics on the living room floor with hot dogs, chili, pop, and lots of laughs.
* older mom memories-in-the-making with our annual march madness brackets, pored over with careful thought (or, in my case, just blind love for a lifelong favorite team) all in order to claim the 12 months of bragging rights.
* road trip, after road trip, after road trip, after road trip, after...
* team dinners.
* weekend days (or nights) at the stadium with people I love.
* laughter.
* tears.
* big game parties.
* shared moments of all of the above, often in the midst of all sorts of the turmoil that life brings; moments that, when all is said and done (either in the moment, or in our lives), really, really, really matter - - really mean something, and really define us - define me.
yes, i get all of that (and so much more) from "a game". so please, when that game doesn't go the way i want it to, don't "poo poo" my tears, or my heartbreak, or my disappointments. don't write me off as "silly". don't mock my passion and emotion....and, for God's sake, don't tell me "it's just a game". that only makes me feel badly for you for if all you are seeing is "just a game", you're missing out on so, so very, very much more.
3 comments:
Dear Barbara,
Anyone who has ever won anything at any level knows how much it SUCKS to lose. My memories are of the late 1970's in our basement having huge Blazer parties and thinking Bill Schonley was part of our family. Even though I never played sports, I have always been a fan. I love watching football, tennis, even golf. And of course, basketball. So I get it and it will take some time to get the sting out of the upset you suffered. Be nice to yourself and know that I understand you. :)
thanks, beth ann. you "get it" - i can tell. (i never played either...)
I cry watching the Olympics and at any National Anthum (name the sport). I played and know the power of the team. As a mom I tear up watching my kids fall on the soccer field or miss the goal. Like you, I remember a living room with us kids and dad watching football, baseball and basketball. The players were bigger than life! Thanks for sharing. Becky
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